Health, Lifestyle & Fitness

10 Tips For Conquering Your Fears
Copyright © 2005 Cari Vollmer
LifeOnTrack ™
http://www.LifeOnTrack.com

Have you ever had a fear that kept you from living life fully?
Perhaps this fear has stopped you from having MORE fun or
experiencing GREATER success. Yes? You’re not alone. I have too.

The fear I conquered in the story below may not be my biggest
fear but with a little reflection I saw how it really stopped me
from enjoying my family and life to the fullest. It also taught
me a valuable lesson of how taking steps to overcome my fear
resulted in increased self confidence.

At the end of my story, I’ll give you tips for conquering your
own fears.

A few weekends ago my husband and I took our daughter Kasie, and
my nephew Zach, to a water park. We all love the water and were
having a blast until my hubby and the kids took off for — the
water slides.

As they enthusiastically ran to the slides I slowed wayyyy down.
In fact, I stopped, found a chair and proceeded to organize our
belongings. As I settled into a lawn chair I saw Kasie and Zach
whoosh down their side-by-side slides and plunge, feet first,
into the cool water. They quickly resurfaced, sputtering and
laughing and ready for more.

As Zach jumped out of the pool to run back up the stairs he
looked at me laughing and said, “Cari’s being a wimp.” He was
right. I was.

You see, even though I love the water I’ve always been afraid of
— water slides.

On this particular day however, the kid pressure was too great. I
decided it was the time and place to conquer my old fear. As I
hurried to the steps my chest tightened and my breathing became
very shallow. Each step I took to reach the top of the slide made
me feel anxious, awkward and scared to death.

I focused my attention on the cute and fearless little girl in
front of me. I motivated myself by repeating the mantra, “if she
can do it, I can do it”. As we reached the top of the slide, I
watched in amazement as she sprang from the last step to a lying
down, torpedo style position in one fell swoop. As soon as the
little girl shot out of sight it was my turn.

The time had come — it was now or never. Copying the little girl
before me, I laid down on the slide feet first torpedo style and
as I did I heard the words: Don’t fight it, just let yourself go.

As I whooshed down the slide I reminded myself I was OK, to keep
breathing and to relax. As I let my body go it seemed to
understand what was expected of it. It conformed to the twists
and turns of the slide and only seemed to tighten in response to
my fearful thoughts. Soon, I could see the end of the ride was
near and as I flew off the end of the slide into the waiting
water, I knew I conquered my fear!

WOW! I did it! I went down a water slide. It was a blast! My
husband told me later, as I was coming down, he could hear me
screaming and laughing. All I could remember was feeling gripped
by fear, exhilaration and pure joy as my body whirled down the
watery, slippery path.

Now, I felt ready for more. Once wasn’t enough. The second time
up the stairs was much easier and I took my position at the top
of the slide with much more confidence. The ride down the second
time was even more fun because now I knew the curves and the
bumps. I navigated the challenge with a bit more grace. I felt
proud of myself for taking action and for doing something I
thought I would never do.

What’s your “water slide”? I bet you have one, or many. We all
do. What fear, if you conquered it, would allow you to have a bit
more fun, experience greater success, or live life a bit more
fully?

Some fears feel bigger to conquer than others. My water slide
fear may not seem like the biggest fear one could have, but
having it caused me to isolate myself from the rest of my family
and kept me from having MORE fun, joy and exhilaration in my
life.

Conquering your fears, one by one, builds confidence and
increases your quality of life. Don’t let your fears hold you
back from living the life you wish you were living.

10 Tips For Conquering Your Fears:

1. Recognize a fear is present

2. Declare you are going to conquer the fear

3. Expect to feel anxious, awkward and scared

4. Consider copying a style you like until you find your
own style

5. Focus your attention

6. Motivate yourself with affirmations

7. Step into the fear with abandon

8. Let go and have fun! Remind yourself to keep breathing

9. Pat yourself on the back when it’s over

10.Notice how much easier it gets

When you have time, take a personal inventory of the fears
keeping you from living the life you want. Then make a commitment
and challenge yourself to face and conquer one them that’s been
holding you back. Use the tips above to guide your way. To get
started, see if any common fears from the list below fit you:

Admitting mistakes or wrong-doings
Adventure
Being inadequate/not good enough
Doing something you’ve never done before
Expressing yourself
Failure
Healing emotional wounds
Health concerns
Money/finances
Never having enough
Public speaking
Promoting yourself
Saying “NO”
Sharing your feelings
Taking a risk, such as starting a business or changing careers
Traveling

———————————————————————
Cari Vollmer is the creative founder of LifeOnTrack.com.
LifeOnTrack.com’s inspirational e-zine, LivingOnTrack,
offers practical success tools, tips and strategies for
getting and keeping your life on track. Sign up at
http://www.LifeOnTrack.com .

What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You
Copyright © 2005 Laurie Weiss Ph.D.
The Integrity Course
http://www.theintegritycourse.com/

Everybody has blind spots.

You have certain tendencies that you are not aware of but others
can see. These are your blind spots, and they often cause big
problems.

You may not want to accept that your life style is responsible
for your high cholesterol and that you are courting a heart
attack. You may not want to know that your defensiveness cost you
a promotion.

Over two hundred years ago, Scottish poet Robert Burns (Kinsley,
1968) wrote:

“Oh wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursel’s as others see us!”

It can be a real challenge to try to see yourself as others see
you. Sometimes you actually can do so, by watching yourself on
videotape, or listening to an audiotape. Usually, though, this
information is only available when others are willing to share it
with you.

But, you may have a blind spot about being alerted to your blind
spot!

If you do, you try to turn away any feedback that does not agree
with your own self-assessments. You may be blocking the very
information you need.

However, when you learn to accept any feedback as a gift, you can
use it to fuel your own growth and development.

Sometimes someone wants to give you information about something
you say or do that annoys others. You might even be happy to
change it if you only it existed. But you can’t know unless you
are open to their feedback.

Sometimes the information is extremely important to you, because
something you are doing (or not doing) may keep you from career
advancement or interfere with your important relationships.

Although you may not exactly welcome feedback that brings
uncomfortable information to your attention, you may desperately
need it.

When you accept new information about yourself, you can then take
action and make important changes — changes that can make a
tremendous difference to your success or even to your life.

Excerpted from lesson 11, “The Integrity Course.”
Copyright 2005 Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

———————————————————————
Learn more about asking questions with grace and skill in
“The Integrity Course,” an online, multimedia course to help
you say what you think without getting fired or losing your
friends. http://www.TheIntegrityCourse.com or email:
feedback@laurieweiss.com
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. is an internationally-known
executive coach, psychotherapist, and author.

Eliminate clutter in your home

No matter how large your home is, you’ve probably desired
more space at one time or another. Managing your clutter is
a wonderful way to create more space and put you back in
control of your life - mentally, emotionally and physically.

When you surround yourself with clutter it makes it difficult
to get things done, enjoy peace and quite, or spend your time
in the way you want. Everything that surrounds you in your
personal space should be working for you in some way. If the
things in your personal environment are not supporting you
and contributing to the positive quality of your life, then
it is time to do something about it!

Make it a point to let go and make some room in your life.
Getting rid of the clutter does not mean giving away all the
things you love. It means creating an environment that serves
you, supports you, and contributes to the lifestyle that you
want.

The Road to Clutter Free is always under Construction.

The de-cluttering process should be a goal you can work
towards.

Make it a point to do a little everyday to avoid spending
precious weekend time “catching up on the housework”.

Start with one drawer, or area at a time getting rid of all
those old, broken and useless items such as Kitchen gadgets,
empty boxes, plastic carrier bags, bits of string, piles of
magazines or clothes you will never wear again.

Decide what can be trashed, recycled or sold and the make
necessary arrangements for disposing of all that annoying
clutter.

Use space effectively to keep your home organised and
functional.

Think multi-function storage solutions where space is limited
and you simply cannot find a home for everything you want to
keep.

Existing furniture can sometimes be used for storage.

- A chest can be used to store blankets.

- A chest of drawers in the living room can provide extra
storage for office supplies, linens or CDs.

Copyright J Black. For more home and garden ideas visit
http://www.netwrite-publish.com

The Importance Of Verbal Communication
Copyright © 2005 Jim Headley
Telecents Communications Inc.
http://www.sendglobal.com

It has been cited that verbal communication is 10% what you say
and 90% how you say it. In today’s technology driven world, you
would not know that though. Today, people across the world have
become so dependent upon non-verbal methods of communication that
the verbal communication methods have been falling by the
wayside.

Take a look at the popularity of text messaging and emails. These
written communications often leave much to the imagination and
create a great deal of confusion for those who are attempting to
communicate with each other. When trying to communicate the
importance of a message to another human being, the reader can
lose the intent or the real meaning of the message.

At particular risk for misinterpretation are those important
messages that are sent at times of high emotion. The tone,
inflection, and the stress placed on individual words can be lost
when using only the written word. This could be disastrous when
trying to tell a loved one your feelings or when trying to close
an important business deal. People often misinterpret the written
words and may take offense to messages that were meant to be
completely harmless or even humorous.

This is why we must always remember that 90% of communication is
how we say what we want to get across to the other party. Emails
and text messages only give us 10% of the communication process,
thus leaving 90% of the communication process up to the recipient
to guess.

If you want to communicate an important message to a loved one or
to a business contact, you may be better off going the old
fashioned route of using the telephone. This eliminates any
confusion in the communication process, and also allows you and
the other party to ask for any needed clarifications. These
clarifications can be made via the telephone, before unintended
interpretations have been made. Using verbal telephone
communication allows you to emphasize the importance of the
message and to communicate the excitement of your words to the
other party.

It often seems easier to simply send an email to someone, but
many people actually prefer telephone communication to emails.
Telephone communication maintains the bit of humanity, which is
lost in emails. Many business people who are not comfortable with
emails don’t even read their emails. I once sat in the office of
a Chief Operating Officer of a major corporation and saw him
inadvertently delete many of his emails. When I asked him about
it, he said that if the messages he accidentally deleted were
important that the senders would call him. He was not a fan of
emails and even though he was often stretched thin on time, he
said that he preferred telephone calls, because he got a chance
to visit briefly with his business contacts.

Many business executives today are of a generation who held jobs
before emails, so they do not rely as much on computers as their
younger counterparts. Many of them ignore emails for the most
part and look for the telephone follow up from the sender and
take the attitude that “If it was important they will call me.”
Taking care of important business transactions over the
telephone, instead of by email, assures that the right person
receives the message and that it is not simply going to an
assistant or worse, to a bulk mail folder where it gets deleted.

If you communicate with people on an international level, be it
personal or business, you may believe that your only choice is to
email because of the expense of international phone calls. While
this may have been true in the past, it is not true today. There
are options in making international telephone calls. One of these
options includes inexpensive international calling cards that
allow you to call overseas at a rate as low as 2.9 cents per
minute. It is well worth the money, in my opinion, to assure that
the importance and the intent of the message is not lost in the
written word of an email.

International telephone calls are not as outrageously expensive
as they once were, and you can be sure that the recipient
understands the meaning and true intent of your communications.

———————————————————————
Jim Headley, (jheadley@telecents.com) VP of New Business
Development, Telecents Communications Inc
Telecents’ SENDGLOBAL brand offers FREE International Calling
Call Free to Europe, South America, Asian, Mexico, Middle East,
India. Visit http://www.sendglobal.com enter promo code “MD8KT”
Want to become an agent/affiliate? Go to
http://www.sendglobl.info login TCI

Up until a couple weeks ago, our family always had an excuse not to
volunteer our time. There always seemed to be a soccer game, family
commitment, work obligation, or birthday party to get in the way of
us spending our Saturday mornings volunteering our time to help
others. Well no longer, we have adopted a new family motto, “No
More Excuses”, and this past Saturday we put it to the test.

It was a dreary cold morning and all of us were tired from a long
week of work and school. When the time came to get out of bed at 7
a.m. and go volunteer our help delivering food to the elderly any
previous enthusiasm we had suddenly faded away. We wasted no time in
coming up with a lot of reasons not to go like “we’re tired”, “our
beds are warm”, “it’s cold outside”, “we just want to hang with you”
and the list continued. So after my morning cry of “No More
Excuses!”, I pulled them from bed, fed them a warm breakfast, packed
them in our new gas filled minivan, and sped off to our
destination. I tuned the grumbles from the back seat out and
continued to cheerfully cry “No more excuses!”, “You’ll love this,
trust me!”, “You’ll feel so good when you’re done!” all the way to
our church. At church we met up with some other families who looked
just as enthused as us to be there at 8:30 a.m. on a cold dreary
Saturday morning and all of us loaded into the van and off we went.
It wasn’t long before we started talking about all the great things
in our lives and all of our past volunteer experiences and suddenly
we were a little more enthused. After arriving at the charity
headquarters, we were quickly put to work delivering food to low
income elderly where we were greeted with smiles of hello, cries of
happiness, and thanks filled with gratefulness. Suddenly our nice
warm beds of a couple hours ago didn’t seem so important and we
ended our day of volunteering by getting just as much out of it as
those we helped.

So the next time your family has the opportunity to volunteer, what
will be your excuse? Remember, your kids will thank you for the
little things later.

Polly Schlafhauser is Founder and President of Families with
Purpose, a website dedicated to helping busy families enhance their
family life. To subscribe to their newsletter or to learn more
about volunteering as a family, visit their website at
http://www.familieswithpurpose.com/

How to Deal With Difficult People: Part 1 - The Sociopath
by Dr. Tony Fiore

Twenty-eight old Sandra is a pretty, successful young
professional who is in relationship with a 48-year old handsome,
suave, successful attorney who had told her he was divorced. He
wasn’t.

She forgave him believing his story that he was “emotionally
“divorced (but he still lived with his wife and she had no
knowledge they were “emotionally divorced”) Later, Sandra left
him after he physically abused her.

Two weeks later he took another woman on vacation with him and
his children; they bought property together. He then decided to
dump this woman. Next, he literally cried and begged Sandra to
return to him. She did. Sandra now feels angry and questions
why. After all, she laments, “he has been so good in the last
couple of weeks.”

Sandra has a perfect right to feel angry feelings - without
guilt - because she is in the grips of a sociopath person.

What is a sociopath?

We normally think of a “sociopath” as a criminal who often
winds up in prison. But, according to Dr Marla Stout who wrote
“The Sociopath Next Door,” sociopaths are often non-criminals
who at first glance appear normal and well-functioning.

In or out of the criminal justice system, the sociopath:
* Has little or no conscience; no ability to feel real shame,
guilt or remorse.

* Has a kind of glow or charisma that makes them more charming
or interesting than other people around them. They often are
more spontaneous, more intense, complex or even sexier than
everyone around them.

Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot
love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but
underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They lack
normal empathy feelings toward others.

They often live to dominate and thrill to win.

If you are in relationship with a person like this, your number
one challenge is to protect yourself from them.

Five Survival Tips

The following tips are based on recommendations by Dr. Stout, as
well as our experience with anger management students in the
grips of such a person:

Tip #1 Accept Bitter Pill

The first tip involves the bitter pill of accepting that some
people literally have no conscience, and that these people do
not often look like Charles Manson or a Ferengi bartender. They
look like us. Sandra’s boyfriend is a pillar of the community
with an excellent professional reputation.

Tip #2 - Practice Rule of Three

When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the
Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes,
and the responsibilities he or she has.

* One lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected
responsibility may be a misunderstanding instead.

* Two may involve a serious mistake.

* But three lies says you’re dealing with a liar, and deceit is
the linchpin of conscienceless behavior.

Do not give your money, your work, your secrets, or your
affection to a three-timer. Your valuable gifts will be wasted.

Tip #3 - Suspect Flattery.

Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In
contrast, flattery is extreme, and appeals to our egos in
unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and
nearly always involves an intent to manipulate. Manipulation
through flattery is sometimes innocuous and sometimes sinister.
Peek over your massaged ego and remember to suspect flattery.
Tip #4-do not join the game.

Intrigue is a sociopath’s tool. Resist the temptation to compete
with a seductive sociopath, to outsmart him, psychoanalyze, or
even banter with him.

In addition to reducing yourself to his level, you would be
distracting yourself from what is really important, which is to
protect yourself.

Tip #5 - Avoid Contact

The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid
him, to refuse any kind of contact or communication. This is not
easy as sociopaths tend to turn things around and make you feel
guilty, shameful, or inadequate. Often this makes you want to
try even harder to please them and get their approval.
To keep a straight head-and resist temptation- it is best to
avoid them completely.

2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore (www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed
psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The
Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs,
training and products to individuals, couples, and the
workplace. Sign up for his fr.ee monthly newsletter “Taming The
Anger Bee” at www.angercoach.com

_______

Do you have SAD?

If you find yoursef feeling SAD as the days grow shorter, you may
have Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka Winter Depression). This
medical condition is caused by insufficient exposure to sunlight
resulting in low levels of melatonin and serotonin, abnormalities of
cortisol, carbohydrate craving, weight gain, and sleep disturbance.

SAD usually begins at the end of October when we set our clocks back
an hour (Daylight Savings Time). This change in time makes the
shorter daylight hours even more apparent which causes us to feel
SAD. We are then likely to continually feel SADder as the season
progresses. Some of the many symptoms of SAD include: (1.) Change in
sleep patterns. (2.) Oversleeping but not awaking feeling refreshed.
(3.) Inability to get out of bed. (4.) The need for afternoon naps.
(5.) Depression which includes feelings of despair, misery, guilt,
anxiety, hopelessness, etc. (6.) Normal tasks become frustratingly
difficult. (7.) Withdrawal from friends and family. (8.) Avoiding
company. (9.) Crankiness or irritability. (10.) Lack of
feeling/emotion. (11.) A constant state of sadness. (11.) Lethargy
or decreased energy, making everything an effort and thus resulting
in decreased productivity. (12.) Physical ailments, including: joint
pain, stomach problems, lowered resistance to infection, weight
gain, premenstrual syndrome (worsens or only occurs in winter) (13.)
Behavioral problems (14.) Changes in appetite, including: increased
appetite and carbohydrate craving (15.) A loss of interest in sex
(16.) Difficulty concentrating resulting in unaccomplished tasks

If you feel that you have SAD, you should know that you’re not
alone! SAD affects approximately 10 million people in the United
States alone. Women are three times more likely than men to suffer
from this disorder. People who live in colder climates also have a
higher incidence of SAD. So, should you happen to believe that
you’re suffering from SAD, you should first check with your doctor,
but do know that there are some treatments available. These include:
(1.) Eating a low fat diet, without too much protein. (2.) Taking a
daily vitamin that contains magnesium, B complex, and minerals. (3.)
Eliminating caffeine. (4.) Reducing stress. (5.) Eliminating refined
sugars and flours. (6.) Taking part in aerobic exercise (ie
walking). (7.) Taking Saint John’s Wort. (8.) Spending 30 minutes
per day in the sun and fresh air.

==================

Reverend Brenda Hoffman, is ordained by the Universal Life Church,
and has been delivering holistic health and wellness advice for over
7 years since receiving a BA in psychology. As a home-based
professional and mother of 1, she operates a holistic wellness
network. She invites you over to
http://www.yourhealthyfamilyhome.com/ to learn how to improve you
and your family’s health.